America is - without a doubt - the most bizarrre culture this planet has ever produced, and here's the proof.

If this pack has legs, they have to end somewhere, and where exactly would that be? If one tears off the carton in search of the Old Gold Derriere, you have an armless headless creature who consists entirely of a torso and two legs - not a deal-breaker for many men, but still disconcerting. And those boots! How many desperate loners sat in front of their TV in the 50s, stoking themselves into an onanistic frenzy, waiting for this very commercial?

Even more peculiar: the man is placing a vaginal symbol over the phallic smokes, a symbol of kingship held by a man over the female representation of tubular satisfaction -

(doesnotcompute doesnotcompute error error sterlize sterrrilize)

Let this be a warning: when the culture represses sexuality, it comes flooding out the seams in the most unnatural manifestations.

Although I have to say: this cigarette pack has got it goin' on.