I've messed up my entire life by not doing well in high school. I got an email from this college today, I decided to open it because Sarah had mentioned the school earlier this morning. Emerson college, in Boston, I recognized the name from NCSA--a college with a BFA program. That would be perfect. Beyond perfect. I spent an hour and a half browsing the website, and you know what? It's my ideal school. But I couldn't get in. My QPA isn't even about 4.0...I'm taking FOUR fucking APs and I'm too mentally retarded to get my QPA over 4.0. And I know it's cause of Math and Science (and this year APUSH), I know it is because I have a disability, but I could never, ever describe to you how horrible I feel knowing that there is a place like that out there and I don't even have a fighting chance of getting in. I just talked to my mother, and she actually told me not to even bother dreaming about it. I just want to fling myself off a tall building. I'm 17 and I've already dead-ended my life because I wanted to have fun in high school.